Let's Play Gabriel Knight 2: The Beast Within!

Now residing in Schloss Ritter following the events of GK1, Gabriel's working on his next novel while periodically hitting his typewriter, Grace's been left behind to tidy up Gabriel's NOLA (business) affairs, Gerde's had some work done, and Mosely ain't in this game. Let's do this thing.

And so here we are, with Not-Tim Curry as our hero this time. And while I’m sure he’s a very nice gentleman, because of this game, he is forever now to be referred to as Not-Tim Curry. 


Part One: Shall we begin again?
So a minute difference between this LP and the last one is that I had played GK1 before. I am going in blind here, so forewarned is forearmed. 

At any rate, let’s Prologue this bitch!

So we open with this fellow locking a door while a wolf howls in the distance. 

He throws his keys onto this leaflet, and for everyone’s convenience, I’ve run what I can read despite the old-timey font through Google Translate, and it reads as thus:

Attention! The Beast of Ulfing

And that’s all I got. If anyone can make heads or tails of the rest, feel free to chime in. 

We then get a long shot of this chubby kid and who I guess is his mom staring off camera.

Not really sure if they’re staring at the fire or not.

Then this guy shows up, barks something in German, and the two of them follow him.

For some reason, the fact that there’s only one person credited as working on the werewolf effects kinda tickles me. Not sure why.

Then we have a shot of a torch being shoved into a haybale, not sure what’s going on there.

And then the kid’s face is kinda superimposed over it, making me feel even MORE lost.

I’m sorry, who? I’m more shocked that any Germans who were born with that last name didn’t change it years ago for fear of ridicule. Unless they’re going by Office Space logic. (Why should I change it? He’s the one that sucks!)

So yeah, from that prologue, I have no fucking idea what’s going on beyond werewolves, and the only reason I know that is the leaflet, and the credit specifically addressing the Werewolf Artist. Also, seeing as this is an FMV game, and well, I haven’t had much luck with those in previous LP’s, I have a feeling that this is going to hurt bad. Brace yourselves, we’re going in.

Really? I have to choose to continue the game despite the fact it hasn’t even started yet? Wow, I think this sets a new record for how soon it takes a game to annoy me.

Ummmm....

This game is made of lies.

So Gabriel just keeps a statue of the Virgin Mary around now? Well, okay, that seems like a minor point to get annoyed about. 

I have a sinking feeling that Not-Tim Curry was cast simply because he looks vaguely like Gabriel in the first game and owned a lot of t-shirts.

And it looks like Gabriel’s neighbors have already assembled a mob to run him out of town.

Looking back at Gabriel, we can see a few scars from his adventure in N’awlins have stuck around. Except for one problem: I'm assuming those scars are from where Malia cut his arm to make him drop her into the fire lake under New Orleans (And no, I'm not letting that go, it was silly.) Now, I went back and checked this, just to make sure I wasn't crazy as fuck, but...

The cuts are on the wrong arm. Malia cut his left arm, and that is very clearly his right. I applaud the attempt at continuity, but how hard would it have been to double check that???

Really? So for your prop book you just recycled some of the art from the game? Laaaaaazy.

OK, I will give this game some credit here. A) That’s a pretty good reproduction of the Talisman from GK1. B) That prop really gives the thing a sense of power and weight. I mean, from the in-game depiction, you really wouldn’t think it was so fucking hefty. Damn.

So Gabe is working on his next book I guess and gets frustrated, then punches his typewriter. Buddy, believe me, there’s better ways of working through writer’s block.

So Gerde (Ok, I’m assuming this is Gerde, this character isn’t named in this cutscene), comes in and tells Gabriel there’s a mob to see him. She then admonishes him that he’s not wearing his Talisman, and as Gabe leaves, he puts it on, grumbling at how heavy the damn thing is. 

And thus do we reach what I’m going to assume is going to be my biggest problem with this game: Not-Tim Curry’s acting. Gabriel Knight in the first game was a smug, lovable asshole who owned up to his familial responsibilities and heritage as a warrior against darkness. No matter how frustrated he was at the situation, he was bold in his statements. This Gabriel Knight just mumbles and grumbles his way through the opening movie. Also, while Tim Curry’s Gabriel Knight had a very distinct Louisiana accent, this guy has opted for “generic southern”. Oh god, I was right, this game is going to fucking hurt me worse than The 7th Guest did, isn’t it?

Side note, if that is Gerde, she’s had some work done.

“Shouldn’t those be torches?”

Okay, that was pretty good. The old guy on the left, Werner Huber, tells Gabriel that the couple in the middle lost their daughter recently, and they need his services as Schattenjager. 

She was wandering near their house when the mother saw a wolf.

By the time she called to the child, it was too late, and the wolf killed her and carried part of her off. The mother cries at this part of the story.

“They say she die quick.”

Way to reassure the grieving mother. Idiot.

(In Monotone)"“That’s horrible.”

Oh god, this is baaaad stuff. 

“Ja, it is very bad, Herr Knight.”

So Gabriel is a little confused as to why they’re coming to him. Or possibly constipated. 

“The killer is not wolf! It is werewolf!”

Anyway, Gabe has trouble believing in werewolves despite, you know, coming face to face with the walking fucking dead previously. So the father-

Oh god, I can’t help laughing, that lazy eye is cracking me up…hang on…oh jesus….Anyway, the *snort* father says that the wolf looked at him with “human eyes”, and that it “knew what it was doing”. So I guess this guy is the Beastmaster of Oktoberfest. Gabriel tries to back out, until Gerde reminds him that he is the Schattenjager, and he finally agrees to at least have a look around the village.

So he naturally crashes on the couch after he gets there.  So yeah, that was fucking painful to the extreme, and about all I can take so far. Also, where is Grace? The end of GK1 made it pretty clear that she was going to join him in Germany. But yeah, all that, MS Word is saying I’ve written better than 1050 words so far, and I haven’t even actually done anything beyond save my game. 

Next Time: Actual gameplay (I hope)!

Part Two: I Don't Speak Good German
Ok, let’s actually try to do something. First let’s take a look at our inventory:

Left to right, we have an unfinished manuscript of Gabriel’s…

“Blake Backlash”??? Oh Jesus, no wonder Gabe’s broke. Take away his typewriter on general principles. Next is his notepad, all clicking on it gets us is Not-Tim Curry saying “My Notebook.” Gee, thanks, I never would have guessed. Next is his tape recorder, I’m just gonna assume it does the same thing as the last game…and then he has a business card:

“Little too tasteful if you ask me. Gracie ordered them.”

Riiiight. And last, but not least, we have the Talisman. So yeah, nothing too important here. So in the room proper, we can click the big ol’ crucifix on the wall, so let’s start there.

“I take it the Hubers are Catholic.”

Ok, wow, that was an important detail to include. What about this cabinet in the middle of the room, what’s there?

“China. How homey.”

Oh god, Phantasmagoria flashbacks are kicking in…I have a sudden urge to find some corpse wine…at the foot of the china cabinet is a dufflebag, which I assume is Gabriel’s.

Let’s see, I can see a grey t-shirt and some jeans, yeah, that’s his all right. We take out the Ritter Dagger, a letter from “Ubergrau”, a letter from Grace, and Gabriel’s wallet. So who or what is an Ubergrau?

Ahhh, a lawyer. And as we can see, Gabriel did put the money taken from the Tetelo Cult to good use. Out of morbid curiosity, I can’t help but wonder if those names are a Three Stooges-style joke. Let’s just load up Google Translate and…”About Grey, Hope, and Quick”. Guess not. So let’s see what Grace has to say:

So it seems Grace’s theory at the end of GK1 was correct: While the Ritters did not possess the Talisman, their fortunes dropped, but while Gabriel has it, his star is on the rise. Go figure. As for the dagger,

It looks sufficiently bad-ass.  We can’t open Gabriel’s wallet to look for loose change or a 10 year old condom though, so let’s explore more of the room if we can.

Okay, well, there’s a note to our left…

Really? They’re letting Gabriel borrow their car? No, wait, they have a car?? So what was with the funerary procession to his door?

Well, we grab the keys (with rabbit’s foot)….and like I said, going in blind, but why do I have a sneaking suspicion that the rabbit’s foot is going to be important later? There’s some papers on the table, better read those…

Oh, well, the first set is actually some blank paper which Gabriel uses to write a quick letter to Grace. But the game won’t let us read it at this point. What else is on the table?

Uh huh. Ok. Gabriel puzzles out a few key points…the name of the Zoo, the investigating officer, Leber, and that the Zoo in question is in “Prinzregentenplatz”, or as we Anglos would call it, “Prince Regent Square”. Otherwise, a quick type into Google tells me that it pretty much says what you would expect. “VE KNOW NOSSINK! NOSSSSINK!” There’s also a phone, but that does nothing for us at this time. And I can click on the mirror…

NOOOOO! NOT AGAAAAAAIN!!!!! OUT THE DOOR BEFORE HE CHECKS HIS MAKEUP!!!!

That is not a leather trenchcoat. FAIL.

Well, we can go into that door to the left of the car, so let’s do that.

Or we can stand in front of them until I click it again. That’s good too. 

So we have a bag of Quick-Drying cement and a bucket. Well, that’ll be useful if it turns out the killer is a werecoyote instead I guess. Back outside, I suppose. 

And we use the keys on the car to open up the map screen and…

Ooookaaaay, this is kind of daunting to say the least. Holy, fuck. However, a quick inspection tells me that the yellow boxes are possible destinations, so let’s hit up Prince Regent Square and talk to Kriminalkommissar Leber. 

And if you thought that Desk Sargeant Frick was hard to get past, well, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Gabriel manages to tell this guy that he wants to see Leber, and shows him his card.

He is not impressed. 

Neither am I.  He makes a brief call, and when he hangs up, says a bit in German, but the two phrases that stick out most are “NEIN.” Followed by “Auf Wiedersehen”. Gabriel leaves, and he mutters “Amerikaner.” under his breath. Well, that was helpful.

Part Three: WHAT.

Ok, so going directly to the precinct got us nowhere fast. So this time, I think Gabriel will try the zoo that the “wolves” “escaped” from. So, Thalkirchen it is then. 

Okay, what’s this guy’s deal?

So he wanders into an enclosure and starts scattering…seeds? What?

NO YOU IDIOT, YOU’RE GROWING MORE OF THEM!!! But seriously, something looks really…off…about that wolf. And I don’t mean “human eyes”, I mean that it’s legs look waaaay out of proportion or something. Weird.

And then he leaves, and Gabriel’s here now. So we can check the sign in front of us.

Doctor House, do you have an opinion on this?

Thank you, Doctor. Well, let’s have a look at these wolves. 

Dawwww. I’m having The Littlest Hobo flashbacks, and if you don’t know that show, you do not have a soul. Ooh, I can click on one of them, let’s see what happens….

Uh, Gabe, what was your plan if it did come over to the cyclone fence? And for that matter, isn’t that fence just a wee bit on the low side? My parents’ German Shepherd could jump that easily. (Well, after plowing into it a few times. She’s a good dog, just dumb as a sack of hammers.)

After trying to interrogate the wolves or whatever the fuck Gabriel was trying to do, the Zoo worker comes back, which means it’s Interrogation Time! So unlike GK1 where there were different ways to talk to people we encounter, GK2 just pares it down to simple clicks….and I’m going to be honest, I prefer the other way. Maybe some people prefer the streamlined interface, but I’m not one of ‘em.

So anyway, the worker’s name is Thomas, and he doesn’t think the escaped wolves (Hilda and Parzival) could’ve killed anyone. He does explain that they escaped during the night shift and that the worker who was in charge has been fired. He personally always found Hilda to be extremely playful, not violent at all. And then Gabriel gets a description of the wolves which baffles me to no end. At least he didn’t try to make a composite sketch at least. At the end, he points us towards the head of Mammals, Doctor Klingmann, so I guess we’re off to see him next. 

And the good Doctor…sorry, Herr Doctor, as he insists upon being called, has just a mild fascination with wolves. He’s got a bigass poster behind him, numerous photos on the walls, and a wolf skull on his desk. And things get plenty weirder from there.

Gabriel asks if he can ask him a few questions, and Herr Doctor agrees. Over the course of the interrogation, he makes repeated reference to the “purity of nature”, and how while none of his colleagues agree with his theories, “there are others who do”.

GEE, I WONDER IF HE’S ONE OF THE BAD GUYS???? Fuck, at least Dr. John was kind of ambiguous at first. (Seriously, I thought the guy at the Drug Store was more involved. Plus, you know, 20 years of watching TNG have taught me to root for Worf.) And then, he drops this little tidbit, which while, yes, it’s in the video, I had to transcribe for obvious reasons because WHAT. THE. FUCK???

“How does a wolf choose his victims?”

“…Have you ever heard of the Language of Death?”

“…Nooo.”

“You may have heard that wolves choose the young, the old, the sick as prey. Until recently, many believed that this was a sort of natural selection.”

No, many believed that all animals are lazy and will go after the obviously easy target. But, please, continue.

“But now some of us are finding that it is much more complicated than that. We have observed a pack of wolves surrounding a sick moose cow. She was helpless, but she stood up and glared at her would-be killers. The wolves dispersed. Or a healthy bull who ran off when he sensed wolves, making himself an easy target for no apparent reason. Researchers now believe there is a kind of primal language going on. ‘I am Death,’ the wolf says. ‘Are you ready to go?’ And the victim, by its actions says ‘Yes, I am ready.’ Or, ‘No, you will not take me now.’ “

What.

No, that's not sufficient. David Tennant, help me out.

Nope, still not enough. 

Progress.

*ahem*…one moment…..WHAT THE FLYING BASTARD DONKEY FUCK KIND OF HALF-BAKED PSEUDO-BULLSHIT-SCIENCE WAS THAT?!? Oh god, that just made my brain and my balls hurt. Oh god. Oh dear sweet merciful god. 

I can’t anymore after that. I just can’t. I have to go and ice my head.



Part Four: A Walking Tour of Munich

Right so where were we?

“…Have you ever heard of the Language of Death?”

FUCK YOU. Right. Now, what to do, what to do….Well, there’s one more highlighted section on the mapscreen…Marienplatz, so let’s go there because why not?

Music here’s a bit jaunty. Gabriel looks around a bit…

 Focuses on this statue for no reason I can discern, but I’m gonna go on a limb and say it’ll be significant later, and our viewpoint changes.

So we can click the building immediately behind Gabriel…

“Looks like this isn’t the first time there’s been a shadow over Munich.”

…Am I really going to have to make an Olympic bombing joke here? Fuck it, moving on. There’s a shop at the end of the street…and the screen actually scrolls to follow Gabriel and extend our field of vision. Holy fucking shit, this is goddamned amazing for a Sierra adventure game!!! I mean, yeah, it’s nothing we’ve never seen before in a proper side-scroller, but, my GOD, it’s a breath of fresh air to see it in here!

So the shop sells cuckoo clocks, but Gabriel doesn’t want to go inside. Let’s have a look at our brand new viewpoint!

Hmm, another shop…

Swiss and German watches. I’ve already got a watch, thank you.”

Exit? Exit where??

Ok, we’re back at the plaza. Hmm, So I can click the statue thing, whatever it is…

“She almost seems to be watching me.”

Thanks for the insight. And to the right of the statue?

“That must be the famous Munich Glockenspiel.”

HISTORY TIME!!! Yes, this is a real landmark in Munich. The Rathaus-Glockenspiel is a clock that chimes every day at 11AM, drawing tourists and crowds of locals. There are 43 bells and 32 figures involved in telling two stories. The upper level tells the story of the marriage of Duke Wilhelm V, while the bottom level is about the Schäfflertanz, or Cooper’s Dance, which was a dance in the 16th Century to drive away plague that is ritually re-enacted every 7 years (Next one’s in 2019, if you’re interested.)

So moving further past the gate leading to the Glockenspiel…

We have this guy tooling on his guitar playing “When The Saints Go Marching In”. I didn’t mention this during GK1, but WTSGMI is kind of an easter egg in the series. You can hear it in the park in GK1, and well, here it is here. What an American Gospel standard is doing in fucking Germany though, I have no idea. Although it is based on the Book of Revelation, so take that as you will. We can check the fountain in the back…

Nothing to click though. Moving on..

And Dienerstrabe to you too, sign! Hmm, there’s a door about half-way down the road we can click…

Gabriel wants us to mail something, so we take the letter out of our inventory and click on the door with it.

Gabriel walks in, we fade to black, and he walks out again. CAN YOU WITHSTAND THE PULSE POUNDING HORRORS OF THE BEAST WITHIN?!

Further up the road (This isn’t a game, this is a walking tour of Germany, isn’t it??), we can click on that building about halfway up the street on the right. But Gabriel comments “Just more buildings down this way.” And refuses to go further. 

So we go back to the subway, and having no other bright ideas, I go back to the Huber farm. Where I get stuck because I have no idea where to go next. So going through our inventory, I realize that the lawfirm of Ubergrau, Hoffen, and Schell is back in Marienplatz, so maybe we should go back there.

And clicking in the opposite direction from where we went last time lands us at the German deli. Well, can we talk to this old broad?

We can, and she offers us some Weisswurst, which Gabriel declines. I have no idea what Weisswurst tastes like. Next to the deli is a building directory…

So we came to the right place.

Doogie Hauser, Attorney at Law. Actually, this is Ubergrau, and Gabriel is actually taken aback by his age, and in his own words was “expecting Matlock”. Or Mattloch I suppose. 

Part Five: Lawyer Fanboys and Vorta

So, last time we arrived at the offices of Herr Ubergrau, the Ritter/Knight family lawyer…or more specifically, we’re meeting the grandson/junior partner of Herr Ubergrau. Interrogation lets us ask him a few things which play to Gabriel’s favor. First of all, as he speaks fluent English, anything we need translated, he freely offers to take care of. Also, he’s actually a fan of Gabriel’s books, and wants to help out any investigation Gabriel begins. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our Mosely! That done, hmm, I wonder if the desk clerk at Prinzregentenplatz will be more accommodating now?

“No point in going back there at the moment, I can’t even try to talk my way in.”

Okaaaay, maybe I have to go back to Lochham now? 

Actually, it turns out there is more to explore at the Huber farm! So we can go down the path, or check out that log. Well, better do everything here first, right?

Actually, it’s a trough. Ok, we can go behind it for something…

“These woods go back a ways. Plenty of space to hide.”

So, I wonder that seeing as my next obvious thing to do is attempt to explore the woods, shouldn’t I try to put on the Schattenjager Talisman?? Actually, the game refuses to let me use it on Gabriel. Dude, seriously? The nice folks here called you up to investigate possible werewolves, the least you could do is wear your badge of office while doing it.

Well, trying to enter the woods has Gabe kneel down and find…

Oh please tell me that’s not the little girl’s hair. Well, Gabriel seems to think otherwise, that it’s fur from the wolves, and pockets it. 

Please tell me that I’m not the only one reading that as FURM HAIR. Well, there’s only one person we’ve met who might be able to tell us about it, let’s go back to visit Herr Doktor Klingmann…despite the fact that he’s obviously evil and involved somehow, of course. 

Actually, Gabriel shows some sense here and tells us that he thinks Klingmann is too involved. Holy shit, actual logic and realization that the obviously evil doctor is obviously evil. Where was this when Haitian Worf was jerking us around??? Okay, next logical step I suppose is to ask Ubergrau about it?

I didn’t notice his secretary before….damn. Just showing him the hair has Gabriel comment that Ubergrau may know someone to take it to. 

Success! Ubergrau has contacts at the university via Herr Doktor Spiegel apparently. 

And here’s something weird, every time Gabriel leaves the office, Ubergrau adjusts that little globe thing on his desk. Yes, yes, I know it’s just recycled animation, but it sticks out to me. I think we better be careful trusting Ubergrau too much. 

WE HAVE A NEW LOCATION!!! To the University!

This guy looks weirdly familiar to me. Let’s see, he says his name is Michael….check IMDB here….

Holy shit. (Oh, if you don’t recognize him, he’s a character from a couple episodes of Star Trek DS9.) Anyway, he takes a look under a microscope…

He says it’s not human, but is pretty sure it’s canine…then double checks it and decides it’s wolf hair…but he’s not sure, he thinks it might be a “mix-up”.

“A mix-up…? Oh, you mean a hybrid?”

“Hy-brid….oh you mean when a wolf and a dog…”

So that just happened. So he says it could be a wolf/dog, 2 different wolf species, a wolf and something else…but he can’t pin it down any further. Well, that done, anything else at the Huber Farm? Well, yes, it’s time for cement apparently! And I only know this because I had to peek at a walkthrough. 

That darker patch I’m pointing at right now? Yeah, I missed that earlier. Further investigation reveals….

A pawprint as big as Gabriel’s hand.  Damn, that’s a big dog. To the cement!

So Gabriel whips up a quick batch, and we take it back to the print. 

And how quick drying is it? About a minute. Wait, what? Is there actually cement out there that cures that fast, because every time I’ve ever helped my father use it, it takes about 24 hours to fully set.

Anyway, Gabriel takes the bucket back and cleans it out like a good guest, and that done, we can get our print back. 

Huzzah!

Part Six: Gabriel Knight 2 - The Wrath of Grace

So, now that we have our fancy-schmancy homemade pawprint, I guess we should go show Michael the Lab Geek it, huh? Well, first we need to explore a new mechanic this game introduces: Tape Splicing!

So what we need to do is take a tape of someone else we’ve talked to, in this case Herr Doktor Klingmann, put it in side A, and put a blank tape in the other side of the recorder. From this point, we can pull certain words and phrases from the conversation. 

What words and phrases?

That done, let’s go back to the University. 

Michael looks at it, starts flipping through a book, and says it’s a wolf…a very big wolf, weighing around 68-70kgs. (About double what the average wolf weighs.) Michael grants that a hybrid might get as big, but can’t say for sure. Ok, back to the zoo. 

Luckily, the good Herr Doktor is absent. Let’s do a little snooping first. 

But we find nothing. So we use the spliced tape on Klingmann’s walkie-talkie to get Thomas in place.

Thomas looks confused, but doesn’t question all the loud clicking sounds that the tape recorder makes as we use it. Or, you know, the fact that his German boss at this German zoo is talking to his German employee in fucking English. Goddamn it. 

On the way out, we rifle Klingmann’s coat and get a piece of paper.

Back out at the wolf pen, Thomas shows Gabriel a “special treat” of his that makes the wolves come to him.

This one is having none of his bullshit however, and takes quite a bit of coaxing to come to the pair. 

Once there, we can see the tag that all the wolves wear, and Gabriel actually squats down to pet the animal, in the process helping himself to some shed fur. Thomas nearly has a coronary at this, but an even bigger one when one of the other wolves starts to growl at them.

So naturally they do what you should do with an animal that can smell fear, and run like girls. Gabriel, at least this Gabriel, I can understand acting like an idiot, but this dummkopf should know better. Anyway, with another task done, I think we need to visit Michael one last time. 

Michael immediately pegs this as wolf hair, and gives us a summary of his findings. Nice guy. Ok, let’s actually take a look at that paper we stole from Klingmann. 

Gabriel figures out that it’s a receipt, but can’t make out the backwards writing on the back. Luckily, there’s a mirror back at the Huber farm. 

Well, Gabriel’s German sucks so maybe we better take this back to our volunteer translator. Ubergrau identifies the paper as a hunting license, and the text on the back points towards the Royal Bavarian Hunting Lodge, which also happens to be in the same area, back up the road near the post office. 

So apparently this Hunting Club is harder to get in than certain golf courses. You have to be able to prove your family heritage is of good German stock before you can join.  So we go back to Ubergrau who gives us the Ritter Family Tree. So we take it back to the weaselly door man, who apologizes for being rude earlier, but Gabriel would still have to be invited to join by a member.

GEE I WONDER IF THIS SUSPICIOUS LOOKING GUY COULD BE A VILLAIN??? This fellow introduces himself as Baron Von Glower and offers to sponsor Gabriel’s entry much to the weaselly guy’s frustration. Inside the club we find…

Ah, shit. Cover’s already blown. Herr Doktor and his companion, Baron….something, I can’t catch the name…thank you IMDB, Baron Von Zell…look on suspiciously.

These three fellows are a little more jovial towards Gabriel. 

Except this guy, who calls himself Herr Preiss and acts extremely weirdly, shaking Gabriel’s hand and saying “Verry interesting.” Oookay, so this guy’s probably involved too. At any rate, Von Glower offers Gabriel a beer, which infuriates Von Zell.

He slams down his beer stein and storms off muttering in German. Klingmann follows shortly there after, while Preiss excuses himself far more politely. Gabriel then also says he has to leave. Von Glower then gives Gabriel his card and tells him to call on him anytime. 

End of Chapter One! Cool! Okay, seeing as I didn’t have a chance to save at all during that segment, let’s get a sneak peek at what’s waiting for us next time!

 GRACE!! 

Grace’s scenes start with her serving this rather large woman who won’t shut the fuck up about “Blake Backlash” (*groan*), and how in the novel he seduces his assistant…Fujitsu. To say that Grace is not fucking impressed is a goddamned understatement. The customer asks if she might be able to meet Gabriel.

“I wouldn’t if I were you. He’s awfully shy. It’s his face. There was an accident. A terrible accident.”

Going out on a limb here, after only a little bit of time with her, I feel that this version of Grace is equal to or superior to Leah Remini’s version. She gets Gabriel’s letter, and after reading how Gerde is working as Gabriel’s assistant at present, Grace wastes no time in calling Bon Voyage Travel (an admittedly clever bit of continuity to the first game), and books a flight to Germany.

Grace is pissed She bangs on the door repeatedly to get Gerde’s attention, and I cannot stress enough that the video makes this feel more and more that a full scale bitch fight is about to break out. Grace demands to see Gabriel, and is angry that he’s not there, deciding to stay at Schloss Ritter for the time being.

Part Seven: Visiting Rittersberg!

This bedroom looks nothing like the one from GK1.  So before we could see that there was an armoire…

But it’s empty. Hrm. Okay, let’s check out the Schattenjager library then. 

Locked. Oh right, we have to have a trippy as fuck nightmare, then we can get in. Downstairs we go then.

THIS IS NOT A CASTLE. Ok, yes, the German “schloss” essentially means “manor house”, BUT it’s referred to as a castle repeatedly in the first game, and if you GIS “schloss”, you see fucking castles. Ok, time for some more bitchiness with Gerde I guess!

And you know what? Repeatedly Gerde refers to the house as a fucking castle! GAHHHH, MY IMMERSION IS RUINED!!!  Okay, so anyway, Grace tries to interrogate Gerde about the case Gabriel’s working on, but Gerde won’t tell Grace shit about it, saying it’s none of her business. 

Grace is far from impressed. She asks about the Schattenjager library, and Gerde refuses her entrance because Grace is not a Schattenjager…although Gerde admits that she herself has been in there doing research for Gabe. Ok, lady, just because you were fucking his uncle, that doesn’t make you queen of the manor house. But she does let slip that Gabriel’s near Munich.

So seeing as Gerde’s vagina is full of sand, we might as well look around the area.

Okay, we can explore Rittersberg on foot. So this is a wholly new area for us! Well, might as well check out the local church. 

Nice door. What’s the poster next to it?

“Saint Georg Church.”

Grace, honey, you can say George. Try it. 

Inside we pop up next to this guy. Wonder what he has to contribute. Well, we may never know because he only speaks German. 

Deeper within the main cathedral we can only go deeper. If there’s a fucking high-tech werewolf chapel underneath, I quit. 

Wow, that was a quick trip to the catacombs. 

It gets better, they’re all Schattenjagers apparently. We just walked into the Ritter Family Tomb.

Yeah they’re all kinda creepy, but there’s an old friend here we should visit.

Heya you crazy old bastard.  We can explore it more closely…

“It’s a silver heart. Someone must’ve left it as a mourning gift.”

Well, seeing as Wolfgang left his in Africa HEY-OHHHHHH!!! I’m sorry, that was inappropriate. Well, what else can we do in Rittersberg.

Clear as mud. Door on the left. 

Well, it’s the town hall, which I guess you call a “Rathaus” in German. I have no comment. The nice fellow there gives a few details on the town, and that’s all. Next door!

“So this is where I’ve been sending Gabriel’s fan mail.”

We can meet the postlady, but we have no letters to send. Last door!

Hey, it’s Werner! Hi Werner!

So Grace decides to hit the old fellow up for information. He speaks fondly of Uncle Wolfgang, and all but confirms what we all suspected about him and Gerde. And although he refuses to say specifically where Gabriel is, he does tell Grace that the case involves Werewolves.

Grace has a hard time accepting that, despite seeing a case of demonic possession not so long ago that ended in massive fire pits opening under NOLA. Werner also says that there was another Werewolf in Rittersberg during the 1700’s. So back to Schloss Ritter I guess.

Nothing new here as Grace refuses to punch the bitch out and steal the key from her.

Part Eight: To the Libary!

So last time Grace was trying to win in a clit-measuring contest with Gerde. Now, remembering that there was a car parked outside, I check it and find out it’s Gabriel’s. Okay, so maybe Gerde has the keys?

“That is Gabriel’s car, he doesn’t even let me drive it.”

Fuck you, too. Ok, lacking ideas, I’m going back to Rittersberg. 

And checking with the town hall, we’re starting to figure it out. We ask for the records of the werewolf trial back in the 1700’s, but the old guy needs a more specific date. Now, my first thought is, hey, go back to the Schattenjager tomb, find out who the active one during the time period was and go from there. But that gets me nowhere as the only ones the game lets me see the date on are Wolfgang’s, Jurgen (15th century), and Martin (12th century). Fuck. And I can’t talk to Werner anymore about it. Goddamn. Back to Schloss Ritter I guess.

Hey, the workman’s gone! And there’s a stone missing from the fireplace? And what’s with that hole?

I could say so many dirty comments right now, but I’m better than that. Hey, he left his toolbox too, what’s in it?

We’ll just help ourselves to his screwdriver and, well, there really isn’t any other way to put this, probe the hole with it. 

And a clicking sound comes from the wardrobe.

SECRET PASSAGE!!!

Well, time to do some exploring I suppose. Where’s that path behind Grace go?

I’m suddenly having severe PHANTASMAGOORRRIA!! flashbacks. 

But this one just leads outside. But I’m not ready to go outside, so back up the passage and I’ll take the route opposite the passage entrance this time. 

Aaaand we’re in Gerde’s bedroom. Please try not to pee in her bed, Grace. 

And all we can do here is look at her autographed photo of Wolfgang. Back into the closet I guess…

But on the way out, I’ll help myself to this key. Because I’m about 99% sure it unlocks the Schattenjager library. 

Bingo!

And I’m gonna be honest, I kinda like this version more than in GK1. More expansive, you know?

We quickly find the hotspot, and a book on lycanthropes. Inside…

Interesting…

“How did you get in here?”

BUS-TED!!! 

At which point, Grace suddenly throws what may be the most epically hilarious rant I have ever seen in my life.

In fact, it reduces Gerde to tears, and she runs off crying. You go, Grace! Further investigation of the bookshelves has Grace pick out the Journal of Victor Ritter. I have no idea how she knows that this one is relevant as Werner only said that a Schattenjager captured a werewolf in the 1700’s, but didn’t say which Schattenjager. Well, let’s look at our new acquisitions.

Charming, really. 

Okay, I’m sure we’ve all heard about the phases of the moon thing, but this howling is something new. Next you’ll be telling me that instead of silver you need titanium. 

Nope, this is even more dumb. Also, in the “Becoming A Werewolf” section, it left out hypnotism. Michael Landon would be soooo disappointed. 

“Werewolfry”. I like that word. And the other page just brings up more what-the-fuckery. 

Manos Del Sol, the Hands of Fate. Jesus, this game is bringing out my MSTie tendencies in full, isn’t it? Okay, what about the letter?

Narration
See, we should be looking into Christian Ritter. Dumbass. So back to the bookcase, and Grace finds that he died the same day as the letter was written, which explains why it was never sent. Ok, so why did you take Victor’s journal too?

Oh, well, that explains that I suppose. 

Narration
Ok, so now we have a date for that fellow in the Rathaus. And Christian’s journal says what?

Narration
Gee, “Black Wolf”, I wonder if the guy who dresses in all black in Munich could be connected. Well, time to check out the desk. Grace sees the copy of Gabriel’s novel and makes a snide comment about Gerde fucking Gabriel because she's kind of a bitch, and then we can use the phone. 
She calls a former professor of hers for some details on Kind Ludwig. He admits to not being an expert on German royalty, but promises to put her in touch with a colleague at the University of Berlin. 

Part 9: The Strange Cases of Baron Von Ralick and King Ludwig II

Well, now that we’re armed with a specific date, to the Rathaus!

The Mayor is most forthcoming now that we have a date…and apparently 200 year old records are stored in file folders now. Go figure. Among other interesting factoids are that Victor’s werewolf was a Baron von Ralick from the nearby town, and that the man was executed by being drawn, quartered, and burned at the fucking stake. Ouch.

He also says that the Rittersberg dungeon where the werewolf was kept is right under the Rathaus and is open to tourists. Upon arriving there, Grace has a weird flashback to the intro video, and complains about it being claustrophobic. The mayor says she may come and go as she pleases, and we’re left to explore!

First thing we can do is look at the church, and Grace reflects on one more fact of the trial records: That the werewolf asked to see a confessor.

We also take a look at his cot. Woo. So seeing as Grace has attached special import to his desire to see a priest, I think it’s time to go back to church? Nope, because Grace’s German still leaves much to be desired it seems. So going back to the Rathaus, the Mayor offers to write Grace a note asking for the church records regarding Von Ralick, and says she can bring them back for him to translate. Gee, you’re helpful fella!

My Translate-fu is weak, but I sense nothing menacing about the letter. 

File in hand, back to the Rathaus! (Dear god, I love that word.)

Okay, here’s where it starts getting weird. First, there’s a letter in the file, written in English from Buenos Aires asking for information regarding Von Ralick. So, Germans fleeing to Argentina isn’t exactly a new phenomenon then. After that, the Mayor reads the confession. Von Ralick was known as “The Black Wolf” for his hunting skills and the terror he held his people in. One day, he raped a young woman from a Gypsy camp and was cursed with lycanthropy from one of the elders.

Unsure of where to go next, might as well hit up the Schattenjager Library again. First Grace checks for something on King Ludwig, but that whole section’s in German. So where else to go?

WERNER! He’s a font of information on Ludwig II, and sings his praises.

HISTORY TIME!!
Ludwig Otto Friedrich Wilhelm ruled Bavarian Germany from 1864 to his death in 1886, and is remembered as der Märchenkönig, the Fairy Tale King, and is extremely revered by Bavarians to this day. He was a patron of the arts, including Wagner. In fact, he was such a fan of Wagner’s operas that he considered abdicating so that he could follow Wagner around Europe, and it took Wagner himself persuading him not to do it. In 1885, his cabinet was frustrated by what they deemed his out-of-control spending (despite that he didn’t spend a penny of state funds), and conspired to have him declared insane and unfit to rule. The day after he was declared insane, he asked Dr. Bernhard von Gudden, chief of the Munich Asylum and lackey of the conspiracy to accompany him on a walk. At 11:30 that night, their bodies were found head and shoulders above the water near the shore. Ludwig’s death was declared a suicide by drowning despite the fact that no water was found in his lungs and that he was an excellent swimmer. Von Gudden on the other hand showed signs of being beaten and strangled. To this day, no one is exactly sure what happened.

Werner on the other hand is convinced that the conspirators had him murdered (which I understand is common sentiment amongst Bavarians). But that’s all we can get here right now, so back to Schloss Ritter I suppose because we still need to explore that lower path in the secret passage. 

Or not, we can’t do anything else here.

Instead Grace writes up her research for Gabriel and packs the Journals and Big Book of Werewolf Hunting for him as well. Bu-u-u-t there’s a problem. Grace didn’t get his return address from that letter he sent her.  And the game won’t let me get the address from Werner. Hrmmm. But it turns out that we get the address by clicking the package on Gerde, who gives it up in bitchy fashion. 

And that done, we mail the package which completes the Grace section and things get supremely weird now, so brace yourselves. 

So Grace and Gerde are calling it a night, which involves them sitting in the same room reading and hating each other, when there’s a knock at the door. Both anticipating Gabriel, they race to the door and find…

…. What the flying bloody blue fuck? This old couple asks if this is the Schattenjager castle and barges on in. They introduce themselves as the Smiths from Pennsylvania, and that they are demonologists. Apparently Mrs Smith there read about the Schattenjagers somewhere and wanted to see the castle.

Grace and Gerde have no idea what the fuck. Which is fair, because neither do I. Grace tells them that the Schattenjager isn’t in at the moment, and the wife gets upset because she “wanted to compare notes” in the “fight against darkness”. Yyyyeah, I think if they actually get to meet the Schattenjager they are going to be profoundly disappointed. And then Mrs Smith starts having visions.

 She grabs Grace’s hand and says that someone close to her is in danger from “a black wolf”. Her husband then escorts her out.

At any rate, neither Grace nor Gerde has any idea what the fuck this invasion from another game portends and the chapter ends.

Part 10: Warhammer 40k Joke

Well, back to Not-Tim Curry!

“Grace, you ever feel…not so fresh?”

Ok, seriously, this is a horror game right? 

All right, well that cut away was kinda horrifying.

Not so much.

What

The

FUCK??

Oh Christ, they went with a weird ass dream sequence.  Well, back to basics. Let’s check the news.

So Gabriel interprets that there was another wolf killing…in downtown Munich. How fucking big was Munich in 1996 anyway? Well that’s a little harder to find out, but these days it’s apparently populated by over a million people with an average of 4280 people per square kilometer. Yikes. Especially because this one was found at Marienplatz right near the city hall. Ballsy fucker. Well, I’ve got no better ideas. To Marienplatz!

So first let’s go see Ubergrau…or, actually, he tells Gabriel that he can just call him Harry. He has Grace’s package, so we’ll have Gabe look at that in a bit. I mean that because Gabriel’s an idiot and won’t open his mail now. We can’t ask Harry anything else, so let’s go crime scene hunting. 

OH GEE IT’S RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CREEPY HUNTING CLUB I WONDER IF THERE IS A CONNECTION? I mean, really?? Aside from the lackluster acting, the big problem I’m having in this game is the complete and utter lack of subtlety. 

At any rate, we get our first look at Kommisar Leber. Just don’t turn around, Gabe. We try using Gabriel’s business card to get his attention, but he looks at Gabriel and then goes back to investigating. Asshole. So what else could I use…hmm…hey, the evidence report that proves it’s not the wolves from the zoo!

Success!

Not really. He shouts at Gabriel for a minute, saying that he does not have time for Gabriel’s nonsense, and leaves. Hmmm…I have an idea! He’s being an asshole and the press is here, I wonder…

 Oh this is fucking priceless.

Gabriel goes on record, very loudly about how the hair found at the Huber farm is reddish brown, and the escaped wolves are grey. And also how the paw prints do not match CANIS LUPIS LUPIS!! At which point Der Kommissar tackles Gabriel out of frame.

He finally, and very angrily, agrees to meet Gabriel at his office later.

Once at his office, Leber proceeds TO CONSTANTLY SHOUT AT GABRIEL for the most part. Dude is a very angry man, and at his size should probably watch his blood pressure. Anywho, Gabriel makes a deal for information, he tells Leber what he knows, and all Leber has to tell him is standard press release stuff. 

Leber grudgingly agrees. So first thing’s first: right away, Gabriel points out that there’s something very wrong with the pattern now forming. All the other murders were at least a 40 minute drive from Munich proper, and now here’s one smack dab in the middle of downtown. Also, Gabriel reflects that wolves won’t kill near their lair unless they have to. Maybe he’s not quite as dumb as this game is reflecting. 

In addition, he correctly guesses that the autopsies show that the killer is not a “wolf” but is definitely canine of some sort, possibly a hybrid.

Cut that out! Leber is also convinced from the autopsies that there is only one animal based on the tooth impressions and saliva samples. And he is personally convinced that the zoo wolves are not responsible, but the police don’t want that to get out yet for fear of instigating further panic or something.

Part 11: I Have Come Here to Drink Heineken and Kick Ass. And You’re All Out of Heineken.

Ok, so I had to check why I couldn’t open the damn package, and it turns out Gabriel is supposed to open it in front of Harry. Also, you're supposed to use the magnifying glass icon to do it instead of clicking it on Gabriel. Go figure. 

Gabriel is pissed that Grace is in Germany, I can only assume it’s because he holds himself responsible for her kidnapping by the Gedde cult, but Not-Tim Curry doesn’t do the best job of making that clear. At any rate we can ask Harry about Ludwig and The Black Wolf now. Harry gives Gabriel the location of a couple of Ludwig’s castles, and Gabriel seems to think sending Grace to them is a great idea…mostly because the closest one is a 2 and a half hour drive from Munich. Unfortunately, Harry knows nothing of The Black Wolf. 

On a hunch, we go back to der Kommissar, and ask him about these new items. Well, actually we can’t ask about Ludwig, but we can ask about The Black Wolf. 

And instead of shouting at us, Leber gets kinda disturbed. He runs over to his files and pulls out a hefty one. In 1989, a teenaged girl disappeared near the Bavarian National Forest. An old lady who lived near the woods said that a huge black wolf got the girl, and seeing as there hadn’t been any wolves in those woods for half a century, Leber dismissed it out of hand. 

At that point, Leber asks why Gabriel is looking into things, and Gabriel hints that he’s a sort of PI, that the Hubers contacted via “a friend of a friend”. Leber accepts this, but tells him if he breathes a word to the press and doesn’t keep him up to speed, he’ll seize Gabriel’s passport in an instant. 

After which, Gabe decides to send Grace on what he thinks is a wild goose chase regarding Ludwig’s castles. I have a feeling that’s not going to work out the way he wants. 
So on the way to mail the letter, I decide to revisit old locations that didn’t work before because, well, that’s how these adventure games work, right? And it turns out the clock store is now available to us!

This kindly old fellow points out a clock right on the counter for Gabriel:

Apparently it functions as an alarm clock, and all for the bargain price of 60 Deutschmarks! Surprisingly, the game lets me spend some of Gabriel’s money and we are now the proud owners of a…woodpecker clock. No, really, it doesn’t cuckoo, it knocks. Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?? At any rate, nothing else new, so we drop off the letter to Grace. Wonder if the creepy werewolf Hunting Club has anything new?

Well, the cops and press have left, so worth a shot.

Xavier says no-one’s there, but he’s welcome to use the club according to his instructions. But I’d rather pump him for info, wouldn’t you? So according to him, the current club was built in 1970 under Baron Von Glower’s “new vision”. A new vision of less than 10 members. Actually, not including Gabriel, there are only 5 members of the Club right now….And the good Herr Doktor Klingmann only joined 2 weeks ago. Just mildly suspicious. Okay, if no-one’s there, time to snoop!

Off-hand, nothing much suspicious here. Well, more suspicious than we already figured. Because these people are obviously werewolves. We can take a closer look at the chairs by the fire…

And we can flip through those magazines…

Except they’re in German. Idiot. 

The rest of the room doesn’t yield much, but there is that other door we can use….

Secret exit?

Well, no, it just happens to open on the alley were the body was discovered earlier. Ok, Gabriel, I think we can safely break out the silver bullets and go full-on They Live on this place now. 

Part 12: Von Zell Is A Dick. Also Probably A Killer, But Mostly A Dick

Well, I can find nothing else at the Werewolf Club, so we’re back to the best part of any point and click adventure game: AIMLESS WANDERING!! Well, not totally aimless after all: Just to check things out, Gabriel goes by Harry’s office, and we can ask him something about the Missing Persons cases that Leber mentioned. 

Gabriel asks if he can “borrow” Harry’s secretary to do some “research”…nah, that’s not fair. He legitimately wants help looking up any missing persons cases within the past 10 years; more specifically those cases that occur near forested areas. Harry agrees, saying he can spare her a little later in the day. Nothing new at the Huber farm, maybe something new at Leber’s?

Yes, actually! We now have the address of the latest victim! Gabriel uses his notepad to jot it down, so we can now look at a brand new area. Oh thank Christ. Exceeept all we had time to do was jot down the phone number. Gabriel, you clod. 

At any rate, we go back to the Huber farm and call the dead guy, because why not. He reaches some woman, and as she checks over the names trying to find either “Knight” or “Von Knight”, she lists off a “Von Aigner”. So back to checking every single location again. And I’m fucking stuck. So, I had to check the walkthroughs. And yeah, this is another one of THOSE puzzles that there’s no fucking way I could’ve figured out on my own. You guys ready for this??? You better be.

Ok, first we go back to the club’s back hallway. Now, see that door on the left? I just assumed it was an open door that led to the alleyway door, but no. It’s a separate, locked door.

The next thing we need is the woodpecker clock, and have Gabriel hang it on the little potted tree there. Now we head back to Xavier and just hang out until the clock starts knocking. When it does, Xavier goes off to answer the door, giving Gabriel an opportunity for further snooping.

And we find some keys, so let’s go open that door now. 

Door’s unlocked, but Gabriel wants to put the keys back somehow before weasel boy notices that they’re missing. On the way, we grab the clock, because, hey, it’s 60 marks! Actually, we reset the clock, and repeat the process so we can return the keys. And then we take our expensive clock back, and go in the new door. 

Um…

 Oh jesus, this is worse than Paul Warner’s office in PHANTASMAGORRRIA 2! Well, guess we better take a closer look. 

So there’s a notebook, no idea what the context here is…but Gabriel confirms that these are all men he met last night. We can look around this room a little more…

“What the hell did these guys hunt? Ninjas?”

For some reason, I find the idea of a Ninja Rifle extremely funny. 

Photos of Vons Glower and Zell hunting. Sigfried and Roy would disapprove of at least one of them.

BUS-TED!!! Von Zell catches Gabriel, shouts that this room is for members only, grabs the notebook, and takes us back upstairs.

And we can take an opportunity to Get to know the good Baron a little more.
Not that he wants us to. He’s civil at first until Gabriel comments that good hunting takes practice and

“BULLSHIT! HUNTING IS A MATTER OF THE WILL!”

So I’m pretty sure Von Zell’s the one who did the little girl. When asked about the endangered species in the basement, Von Zell snaps that they were all obtained legally and storms off in a huff. And now I’m left with no destination again. What to do, what to do…well, it turns out I should’ve had a good look at Von Glower’s card to get his address, as that opens up the Perlach district on the map, so let’s go visit another werewolf.

A werewolf who is apparently a smooth pimp daddy. Von Glower welcomes Gabriel warmly, and we can take a little look around his crib.

The hell is that up on the wall?

“Is that African?”

“Indian, actually. From South America.”

Uh. Huh. At any rate, our conversation is…perplexing. First of all, we get a little background on some of the other club members, one of whom, Hennemann, seems primed to become a future Chancellor, while Von Aigner owns a butchery. Kinda turned off that weisswurst now. 
And then, we get into Von Glower’s philosophy. I’m not going to retype out everything, but allow me to sum up: Man has been weakened by civilization and only by getting back to our primal selves can we truly reclaim our “physical power”. Or something. Pretty sure that’s the broad strokes. 

And then we ask about the Black Wolf, startling the fuck out of him.

Von Glower recovers relatively quickly, and states that he simply associated the phrase with the spate of killings. (Bull. Shit.) But that the killings have him derailed.

“Nature can seem cruel, but it is orderly. It does not waste or torture; not like this. And with the club espousing what we do…Our philosophy does not support this sort of thing.”

And to be honest, he comes off as pretty honest about it. I have a feeling that while he’s obviously involved as the Alpha werewolf, Von Zell is probably the actual killer, and is doing it against Glower's wishes. At any rate, they agree to meet at the club and share a few drinks afterwards. Back to the club I suppose!

And here we see Herr Preiss, described by Von Glower as one of the top lawyers in Munich. Time to pump him for information too, I suppose.

Preiss is an agreeable enough sort. He admits that his own urges tend toward the carnal end of things, but he’s more than willing to dish on Von Zell. Turns out Zell was Von Glower’s golden boy for some time, until the past year or so their relationship began to sour. Then about six weeks ago, Preiss overheard an argument between Glower and Zell where Zell called him “weak”. Preiss wanted to step in on Von Glower’s behalf, but opted not to as itwas a private conversation. Also, Zell’s been loaning other members money from his family’s banks, including Preiss, although he admits it wasn’t that much. Thinking back to that journal in the basement, those numbers are probably loan amounts then. And seeing as I doubt a bank would issue a loan of only 30 marks, I have a feeling all those numbers need about 3 more zeroes added to the end, which means that Von Aigner is in the shit.
Then when asked about The Black Wolf, he says he’s heard of it somewhere, but can’t remember where or what it was about, but he does promise to tell Gabriel if he remembers.

At that point, the rest of the club members arrive. Preiss excuses himself for a word with Von Glower, Zell gives Gabriel a dirty look, and goes to chat with Klingmann.

We try to join in with Preiss and Glower, but are gently rebuffed. So we go to talk to Von Aigner and Hennemann, and after getting agreements to speak privately with them the next day, Gabriel lets drop about the murder and Von Aigner gets a little cagey when hearing the name of the victim. They then ask Von Gower if Gabriel will join them for the club hunting trip the next day. Zell starts flipping out, snapping that Gabriel doesn’t have a hunting license, but Von Glower just glosses over it. 

Last group to talk to is our old friends. Well, talk to is a strong phrase, really, all we need is one of those German magazines. And we get clever with it, wrapping Gabriel’s tape recorder in it and slipping it back. 

After which, Von Glower comes over with a fresh cold one for Gabe, and expressing excitement for Gabriel joining them tomorrow. And Von Zell flips out again.

He starts ranting that Gabriel could be a reporter or policeman, but Von Glower just calmly states that he doesn’t care. Zell storms off again, and Glower apologizes. Gabriel then excuses himself as well, wishing all gathered a pleasant night.

Back at the Huber farm, someone left Gabriel a present! And it’s a good thing he put on the Schattenjager Talisman off camera…

Because the fucking Predator is watching him.

And it’s not very happy. And holy shit, that’s the end of Chapter 3! 

Part Thirteen: My First LP Gave Me PTSD

Ok, Grace what sort of catty bullshit are you going to pull with Gerde this time??

Well, before we can find that out, Grace is having a little snooze by the light of the full moon. 

And of course she’s dreaming of wolves. Because why wouldn’t she.

Then we see this woman fleeing through the snow.

Oh, it’s actually Grace. With hair extensions. There’s a few more shots of wolves, and of her running, and finally someone comes to her rescue!

SANTA!!

Or this guy. (Actually, it's Ludwig.)

Who then turns into a wolf. Because dreams.

And Grace wakes up. Yeah, that really added a whole lot to the story here. No, I need to address this. The dream sequences in GK1 were an ongoing thing right from the beginning of Gabriel’s story, hinting at the dark secrets of the Ritter family’s past. This, this just comes out of nowhere and is just there to be “OOOOOH SPOOOOOOOKY!!!”

Apparently Gerde isn’t up yet. Clicking on the table just has Grace “wonder what Gerde’s up to”.

At any rate, we head into town and pick up the letter from Gabriel. Let’s see what it says!

Seriously, Gabriel, you’re an asshole. And not the magnificent one you were last time. Grace concurs, pissed that he didn’t include the return address. Welp, back to the house, and seeing as Ludwig is all Grace has to go on, better check the library again.

Success! A book in English! Let’s read!

At least this isn’t another stupid fucking pun name.

So, Dick Cheney is younger than I thought. Good to know.

History Time! The Lohengrin opera (one of Wagner’s of course) tells of the Swan Knight Loherangrin, the son of Parzival (or Percival for us Anglo heathens), and a knight of the Holy Grail. He is called the Swan Knight as he arrives in a boat pulled by swans to save a maiden who is forbidden to ask his identity. He marries her, and one day, unable to help herself, she asks his name, which he reveals, then returns to his boat, never to be seen again. That’s the broad strokes of the story at least. And a piece of music from it is amongst the most replayed music in Western history: The Bridal Chorus, AKA “Here Comes The Bride”. 

It…it’s fucking Von Glower, isn’t it? No, wait, when the fuck did Lycanthropy bestow eternal life? As far as every werewolf legend I’ve ever read goes, they still fucking grow old. 

His…sensual nature? Eeeew. Anyway, that’s as far as we can read. And out of ideas, I think it’s time to visit Werner again.

All we can do is ask again where Gabriel is, but Werner refuses. But elsewhere in the place…

Oh, god, dare I? Well I’ve got nothing better as far as an idea, let’s hit up the Smiths. I have a feeling this is gonna hurt. 

So Mrs Smith explains that as Demonologists, they’re on the front lines against Satan. Grace asks how she knew about the Black Wolf, and she comments that she was simply the conduit. Grace doesn’t buy it, despite being held hostage by a possessed woman previously. 

Also, they’re one of those couples, where the husband calls his wife “Mother”, which always creeps me the fuck out. Freud would have a field day.

And then she offers to do a Tarot reading.

Well, okay, that’s not exactly the first thing I thought of. As we go further and further in this game, I keep having severe PHANTASMAGORRRIA!! flashbacks. I just know she’s going to start ejecting ectoplasm out her faceholes at any minute. 

Anywho, Mrs. Smith does a reading for Grace, and then one for Gabriel, but I’m pretty sure that you need to have the person you’re doing a reading for right there, or it doesn’t mean jack shit. However, I’ll leave that to anyone reading who knows Tarot, I will not pretend to be an expert of any kind. Following the readings, Grace thanks them, and they say they’ll be in town to help when she needs it. Well, back to exploring town and…

Well this is new. Gerde is standing at Wolfgang’s coffin and weeping. Upon seeing her, Grace wonders what she’s up to.

And then she sees Gerde tenderly holding the silver heart she left for him…

AND THE PENNY FINALLY FUCKING DROPS.  Grace is feeling pretty fucking stupid at this point.

So we drop by the secret passage and…no wait, I know I just mentioned PHANTASMAGORRRIA!!!, but I swear to fucking Christ that’s the exact same passage as Adrienne flees towards the end of the game. Hang on, let me go check that LP....Holy shit, I’m like 99% sure that Sierra just recycled the CG from one game for the other. 

ANYWAY, Grace, feeling bad for being a gigantic bitch, decides to pick some roses for Gerde.

Well, really, they’re for Wolfgang. Grace apologizes heavily to Gerde, and after they make nice, Gerde gives Grace Gabriel’s car keys so she can visit Ludwig’s castles. 

Part Fourteen: Visit Historic Germany!

Muthafucking Road Trip time!

So here are our options. Well, not much point in driving to Rittersberg, so let’s just do the Left-to-Right thing. 

Gorgeous and very real. HISTORY TIME!
Neuschwanstein Castle was one of the castles that Ludwig built out of his intense fanboyism for Wagner. Over a million people visit annually, it’s been used in several movies such as Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and was used as the basis for Sleeping Beauty’s Castle in Disneyland. The Nazis considered blowing it up during WW2 under the “If we can’t have it, NO ONE WILL!!!” rule of villainy.

Anyway, let’s talk to this fellow! Oh. We can’t. So instead, let’s check out that mural. 

Grace has no idea what’s going on. Maybe this “Tour Tape” option will shed some light? Actually, yes. It says simply that the paintings in this room are from the “Siegfried Saga”, also known as the Nibelungenlied, which is about a dragonslayer. 

I have never read it, but it looks interesting at least. (Oh, and you better believe that Wagner made an adaptation of it.) Next room.

According to our Tour Tape, the master bedroom here was decorated with Tristan and Isolde as an inspiration. 

Seriously, Ludwig needed a different hobby than stalking the shit out of Wagner. Next room.

Lohengrin this time. The tour says that before he “went batshit crazy” Ludwig had started to ban his servants from looking at him. Grace wonders what he was afraid they’d see. 

The tape says that this mural is titled “The Miracle of the Grail”. That does not look like the cup of a carpenter to me.  Deeper in the room.

More goddamn swans. Can’t really check anything else out here, what’s through that door?

 The fuck? According to the tape, this is a reproduction of “The Grotto” from the Tannhauser Saga.  Of course it is. Also, apparently Ludwig’s will ordered the destruction of the castles upon his death. Okaaaay, that’s a little odd. There’s a door on the other side.

Let me guess, more Wagner-inspired art? Yeah, more Tannhauser stuff. 

So, this was Ludwig’s study where he would plan his next masturbatory fantasy over Wagner, and occasionally do actual, you know, King stuff. Also, the tape says he was studying the occult before he died.

Going to have to figure out how to pillage that desk without a guard seeing. Next:

The Singers’ Hall, where Wagner would perform for Ludwig personally. It originally had paintings from Parsifal…but now it has a giant painting of a FUCKING WOLF. 

And another one.

And another. 

Dude had wolves on the brain. There’s one other room we could check out at the moment…

Ludwig’s private chapel. 

And there is this door in the main hall, but we can’t use it at the moment. According to our tape, Ludwig was on his way to this door which leads to the tower when he was arrested. Okay, weird. And for the record, while 99% of the paintings shown here are accurate to the actual contents of the castle, anything with a wolf is bullshit. Well, on to our next stop, Herrenchiemsee Museum!

Nice enough.

GAHH! HOW HORRID!!! Partially because even though I don’t speak any German, I can somehow tell this woman is a total cunt as Grace buys her ticket. Well, there’s a fancy painting on the wall, let’s take a look.

I have no idea who this is, but there’s a plaque.

“The Eagle”, huh? Well, what else we got? Well, there’s a series of displays talking about his last days…

They…cut out his heart? Is that a werewolf thing? (author's note: I later discovered that it's just a Bavaria thing.) In the back of the room…

The sleigh from Grace’s nightmare. With a plaque!

That…doesn’t really clear anything up. Grace considers talking to the Smiths again, which personally, I see as a sign of PENDING MADNESS, but what do I know?

So Grace explains the dream and seeing the painting of the sleight, and they essentially respond with “We dunno.” Mrs Smith does admit that she’s been trying to “contact Ludwig’s spirit”, but has been unsuccessful due to a “wall of despair” she keeps running up against. 

Part Fifteen: See the Loveli Lakes

First of all, there's another part to the museum. Don’t know how I missed this area. Let’s check it out.

Sounds interesting, let’s check this shit out.

So, he was completely cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs? Good to know.

I have no idea.

Yeah, well, BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!!!

I am completely lost now, and so is Grace, because she’s complaining that she needs to see more of the diary. 

Next up, we’ve got more evidence of Ludwig’s creepy fanboyism. Dude needed to get laid.

Shinies!

Okay. Good to know. 

Nice painting.

Okay, who wants to take bets that the Knights of St. George just happen to be affiliated with the Schattenjagers? Grace agrees, saying there has to be some sort of connection. Against the other wall…

Grace states she has to see the diary. No, honey, don’t break into the royal archives…Anyway, talking to the Museum Troll points Grace towards a Wagner museum we can check out, but if ask to see Ludwig’s diary, the lady flips right the fuck out. Ok, chill out crazy lady, we’ll go check out some Wagner. 

According to the curator, Georg, the museum is typically closed this time of year, but after expressing some frustration, he consents to allowing Grace to looking around a few areas. 

Nice looking joint. Piano first I guess.

Ssseven days….. Ahem, let’s take a look at those busts.

Huh, so he was a neckbeard. Go figure. I’m going to skip some of the stuff that doesn’t seem important, until we reach…

Of course there’s a Ludwig room. Complete with some of his letters.

Interesting…well, maybe Georg has something to contribute? Oh yes. Kind of. He’s not a great font of information, but he does state that a)The figures mentioned in the Wagner->Ludwig letter probably have to do with Neuschwanstein, and b)If there is a Lost Opera by Wagner, it may have something to do with the Wolf Panels at same. Also, Georg has a suspicious brother who I suspect may be Von Zell, and Grace flirts with him a bit. 

But we still don’t know enough about Neuschwanstein to figure out the puzzles. Luckily, a return to Schloss Ritter has Grace and Gerde being positively chummy, and Gerde says that Grace’s professor called.

He forks over the name and number for a local expert. 

Shall we call him?

He tells Grace that he has something to show her, and she asks about the Black Wolf. He says he knows nothing about it, but will look into it before they meet. 

Turns out Mr. Dallmier wanted to show her where the corpse of Ludwig was found. Moving on, he flat out says there’s virtually no chance of seeing Ludwig’s diary, except a biographer named Richmond Chapel, who had friends in high places. 

Dallmier gives some more history, saying that Ludwig was manipulated by Chancellor Bismarck into having Bavaria join the rest of Germany/Prussia. Also, those midnight sleigh rides would involve Ludwig sometimes stopping, ordering the servants to say put, and go wandering off for hours.

And we finally get an ID on the Black Wolf: Paul Goedden (Not sure of the spelling, but I’m pretty sure that’s it). He came from another country, but claimed German ancestry and allied himself with Bismarck…who gave Goedden a royal title and lands in 1863. Goedden then promptly changed his name, meaning all record of him disappeared.

GEE I WONDER WHO HE COULD BE?!?!? At any rate, Dallmier tells Grace that there would be a ton of red tape to go through to find out Goedden’s new name. And then we get details on Ludwig’s hunting accident: HE WAS BITTEN BY A WOLF.


NEXT TIME: Raiders of the Lost Opera!